FINALLY! HIGH ART INSPIRED BY REAL LIFE! BILLIONAIRES PAY FOR UNDRESSED BODIES

It seems that even our esteemed colleagues over at KEYT NewsChannel 3-12 are finally grasping the true genius of the market. Their recent Spanish-language blurb, dutifully reproduced by their English-language website, breathlessly ponders the profound mystery of how a 'voluptuous nude body' can fetch 'tens of millions of dollars' at auction. Oh, to be so naïve! Have they not seen the real estate prices in Montecito? Or indeed, almost anywhere within a stone's throw of the 101?

Frankly, we're rather disappointed by the sum mentioned. Tens of millions? For a truly commanding, 'mountain-like' physique, one would expect a far more substantial figure, especially after enduring a trip to Sotheby's London outpost. Are we to believe the market for classic, weighty beauty has fallen so precipitously? Or is this just another sign that a certain 'global elite' is letting standards—and prices—slip?

Perhaps the real scandal isn't the price, but the sheer effort involved: 'four men' to 'carry the 90-kilo painting.' Good heavens! What's happened to self-service art appreciation? And for all that labor, only 'five or six people in the room'? It sounds less like a high-stakes auction and more like a glorified garage sale held in a very, very large and empty garage.

We here at The Whipping Post recognize true value when we see it. And if someone can command millions for merely a painted representation, imagine the market if one were to offer the... *actual*... goods. Just sayin'. Some things are timeless, unlike, apparently, the critical acumen at some local news desks.