FINALLY! UCSB OPINION EDITOR REALIZES LIFE IS SHORT! (JUST NOT SHORT ENOUGH)

Hold the presses, folks! Or, more accurately, hold the 100% post-consumer recycled pulp that UCSB's *Daily Nexus* somehow still manages to print on: an opinion editor has just discovered that her time in college is, in fact, finite. Yes, in a truly groundbreaking bit of introspection that will no doubt be studied in future journalism ethics classes (or, more likely, used as a coaster), Kira Logan, bless her little heart, has penned a heartfelt missive about the "beginning of the lasts."

We here at The Whipping Post certainly understand the crushing weight of existential dread that comes with realizing your all-expenses-paid intellectual playground has an expiration date. It's a profound observation, really, right up there with the discovery that water is wet and that most UCSB students would spontaneously combust if forced to read anything published before 2005. One can only imagine the sheer courage it took to put such an utterly unique and never-before-uttered sentiment to paper.

Indeed, Ms. Logan's moving words, in which she yearns for *another* four years (because, you know, eight isn't enough time to figure out which microbrewery has the best gluten-free options), reminds us all of the deep, thoughtful, and utterly groundbreaking narratives that emanate from our local college campuses. We can only hope that, upon graduation, she's able to parlay this profound insight into a lucrative career... perhaps as a professional mourner at the impending closing of her campus coffee shop.

But fear not, dear readers! While the "lasts" may be beginning for Ms. Logan, the "firsts" are just around the corner for the rest of us – like the first time she receives a utility bill, or the first time she realizes a participation trophy doesn't pay the rent. The world, it turns out, is full of thrilling new experiences beyond the friendly confines of Isla Vista, even if they aren't quite as ripe for ponderous opinion pieces.