TRUMP'S 'ANTI-WEAPONIZATION EFFORT' STALLS: SOURCES CLAIM PRESIDENT IS 'STILL PRESIDENT'

It seems a certain former President's grand scheme to 'de-weaponize' the government has hit a snag, if we're to believe the breathless 'sources' spilling their guts to every passing reporter. Apparently, even the most well-intentioned — or at least, well-funded — efforts to rein in the leviathan that is Washington D.C. are destined for the bureaucratic abyss. Who knew that trying to dismantle the Deep State would be met with, well, deep state-ish resistance? It’s almost as if the entrenched power structure doesn't particularly enjoy having its 'weaponization' pointed out.

Indeed, KEYT NewsChannel 3-12 and their ilk are positively giddy that the concept of an 'anti-weaponization fund' is supposedly on life support. One might almost suspect they prefer a fully weaponized government, so long as it's wielding those weapons in precisely the direction they approve of. The sheer audacity of suggesting that a government could be, dare we say, 'unfairly' targeting political adversaries must send shivers down the spines of the Fourth Estate, who have long perfected the art of the 'concerned source' leak.

Now, according to these 'insiders,' some 'allies' are whispering into the former President's ear, suggesting he just pack it in. Because, clearly, the best way to address a problem is to simply ignore it and hope it goes away. This is the same sage advice that has guided countless political careers straight into the footnotes of history. Perhaps these 'allies' are actually deeply embedded agents of the very weaponized system they purport to oppose, cleverly steering the ship away from any actual course correction.

So, another valiant attempt to hold power accountable founders on the shoals of beltway 'insiders' and their media proxies. The moral of the story? Don't try to drain the swamp with a teacup, especially when the crocodiles are paying for the local news's juiciest scoops. Maybe next time, just send a strongly-worded letter and call it a day.